Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Spanking in Wonderland

I have had the pleasure, recently, of bearing witness to the fascinating visual stimulation of the newest Tim Burton film, a re-imagined Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass conglomeration.

SUCH costumes!

Positively "crazy, mad," and wondrous :D My favorite character, though minor, is most definitely the March Hare -- you'll have to watch it to see what I mean.

Now, in the very beginning, we are still located in "real"-land, before Alice's great adventure. This real land happens to be London, during the century when the men still wore waistcoats and the women petticoats and corsets. Alice's father is discussing a bold new business venture with his fellow smartly-dressed gentlemen, when Alice gets out of bed and appears innocently in the hallway, silent as a mouse, but where her father can clearly see her.

He turns away from his business partners, concerned for his daughter. "The dream again?" he queries gently, and she nods.

Ever the father first, the business-man second, he lets his guests know that he "won't be long" and approaches his daughter, holding out his hand for her to take it, and (presumably) escorts her back to her bedroom. Once Alice is safely tucked back in bed, he proceeds to sit with her and allow her to recount the dream that has been plaguing her and waking her in the middle of the night... the dream with a smiling cat and a blue caterpillar. He then comforts her, and we are led to believe that she drifts back to sleep while he goes back to his meeting, because the next scene is a tremendous "13 years later."

As you may imagine, the version that ensued in my head went a little differently... causing me to be severely distracted for at least the next 3-4 minutes of real-time film...

In my version, Alice's father was still just as gracious and gentle, just as willing to put his family before his business, but this would have been the umpteenth meeting his Alice had interrupted, and he would have warned her that the next time, he would not be quite so forgiving. He'd have given her a soothing night-lamp and good thoughts to think to help her fall back to sleep after the dream; he'd have told her she was a big girl now and that he would have to start punishing her for getting out of bed so late.

This moment in the film, naturally, would have been the one time young Alice had set foot beyond her father's vast realms of patience, and although he would show no hint of this in front of his business partners, once the pair were back in Alice's room, he would fix her with a stern and meaningful gaze.


"Yes, Daddy?" She would look at him quizzically, unnerved by his tone of voice.

"You do remember what I told you the last time you came out of your room after bedtime, don't you?"

Her eyes would grow wide: "Yes, but Daddy--"

"I know you had a bad dream, but you are old enough now to know that it's just a dream and nothing can hurt you in your dreams. You know better now than to get out of bed and interrupt Daddy's meetings."

She would be fidgeting by now, bunching up her fists in her nightgown and staring down at the carpet. She would also remember what her father had said he was going to do if she got out of bed again... she just never thought he would actually do it...

Her father, watching her, would seem to read her mind.

"You know what's going to happen now, don't you, Alice?" His voice would be calm and quiet. He would not be happy about what he now has to do, but he would know that it is for his daughter's own good.

Alice's curly blonde head would rise slowly, and she would meet her father's eyes, trembling slightly. "Please don't, Daddy..."

"I must, Alice. You know better." With this, he would sit down on the edge of her bed, and gently pull her close to him. "I'm not going to stop until I think you've learned your lesson. Is that clear, Alice?"

She would nod mutely, her face still communicating a state of shock at the events unfolding around her. She would not even find the will to struggle as he guides her firmly over his sturdy lap, places his left hand around her hip to steady her, and lifts her nightgown.

His worldly colleagues would wait patiently for his return, sitting comfortably in the study, sipping cognac and listening to the telltale sounds of a responsible, concerned father disciplining his daughter. Small, knowing smiles would appear on their lips as they pondered the fanciful antics of youth, and the trials and tribulations of parenting. : )

1 comment:

  1. Lovely post!

    And as for the cast of 'Alice' - I have never, ever fantasised about spanking Helena Bonham-Carter. Honest...