Wednesday, September 16, 2009


So, I'm a feminist, I suppose. Or at least something to that effect, if we're moving into a day and age where I don't have to be called a feminist to believe in equal rights and opportunities for both genders, and that one gender should not have to act or look more like the other in order to gain power, and that neither gender should be made to fit into socially-constructed gender roles by threat of losing social acceptability...

And yet... I melt when I can trust a man enough to be dominated by him.

And then... as if being dominated wasn't enough... to be spanked by him...

Talk about subjugation and humiliation and gender divide...! : ) And yet, that's what I want... For me personally, anyway...

This issue has been talked about and written about many times before. How do I reconcile this absolute knowledge that gender is equal -- in ideology, anyway, which is not always reflected in actual societal reality -- and yet that I personally find it so invigorating to submit to male dominance? Granted, I also have no problem submitting to female dominance, but for some reason it just doesn't hold the same zing for me... Possibly because I'm mostly heterosexual, and because the feeling is a very sexually-charged one, in my case... :D

Perhaps the way I get around a bit of it is by specifying that it's a very personal thing -- I don't by any means subscribe to any beliefs involving the general subjugation of women and overall dominance of men -- no way... So in that sense, I can claim personal preference. Although, at the same time, I don't feel comfortable submitting in every aspect of my life, nor allowing the rest of the world to know how I feel...

I would be really interested to hear from others about their take on this kind of thought... Both men and women, who enjoy either dominating or submitting to either gender...


  1. I enjoyed the dichotomy. the feminist that needs to be domed, and Spanked. I love the open ended question.

    I suspect a lot of people don't understand my needing to spank women, when I say I love women... but it is the truth.

    So a look at your truth is a glimpse of mine.
    Thank you,

  2. I don't see spanking as in any way anti-feminist. I absolutely view women and men as equals in a vanilla context (and is always amazed to realise that there are some who still don't, and that society can still perpetuate this). And I think a spanko context is about as good an example of equality as one can find - two people playing as equals, each in total control of what they're doing, each enjoying their own interests and relishing the other's.

  3. Hi there, I came over from Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts. I enjoyed your little muse and find my thoughts in parallel, though I have no problem reconciling the two seemingly opposing notions.

    I love to be dominated and spanked by my strong man, but in my case, domination belongs in the home and bedroom. He decides why I’m being spanked. He decides when and how long and what implements he will use. He orders me into the position of his choice--though I always hope for some OTK hand spanking. I get excited just thinking about it.

    But for the working world and even the business of managing the home and kids, there is no place for dominance and submission--only partnership. AND that's how it works for us…..And that's the way, uha, uha, I like it.

    Love your little blog, by the way. You are now in my favorites.

    Handsdown (I had to go by anonymous 'cuz I don't have a URL)

  4. @ Harry - totally agree. Most hetero male spankers of my acquaintance utterly adore women. Spanking, if it's done right, is an act of love - and a homage to that most adorable part of the female anatomy....

    Rayne, I'm emailing you something you might like on the subject of feminism and spanking. It was written by an Aussie friend of mine who calls herself Ruegirl - you may have seen some of her superb spanking stories on various sites.

  5. Thank you everyone for your lovely comments! I'm glad to hear some spankers' points of view :D

    @PhilK -- thank you for the email! Very interesting!